Bobby Zimuruski: An Appreciation
Dance with her, groove with her
Bobby Zimuruski is a minor character in the 1995 Walt Disney film, A Goofy Movie. Voiced by Pauly Shore, Bobby is a friend of the film’s protagonist, the angsty Max Goof. He is a class clown of sorts, a troublemaker, and he’s often held up as an example of what Max shouldn’t be. That’s too bad. Basically every character in the movie could learn a lot about life from Bobby. He’s a legend. This is a Bobby Zimuruski appreciation post.
When we first meet Bobby, he’s in the school auditorium, drinking water from a fountain with a straw. He’s impeccably dressed in a crisp white t-shirt, shorts that hit just above the knee, and a pair of thong sandals. Most high schoolers don’t know how to accessorize, but Bobby isn’t like most high schoolers. He rocks a necklace, tiny glasses a la Liam Gallagher, and a dangly gold earring.
Bobby is the king of the A/V club, and without him, Max would never be able to pull off the stunt he’s about to attempt. You see, Max has it in his head that he will win the heart of Roxanne (babe) by performing as Powerline during the school’s end-of-year assembly. Ballsy move. In high school, when I wanted to impress a girl, I literally had no idea what to do besides maybe be a little mean to her. Can’t believe that worked. (It almost never worked.)
Except for maybe an eccentric ponytailed shop teacher, you just know Bobby’s teachers have failed to identify the genius that resides within him. He’s all untapped potential. He can weld, he can operate a pulley system, and he has the guts to get rid of Principal Mazur via a trap door. That rocks.
Bobby is a boy of simple pleasures. He’s willing to risk suspension (expulsion?) for a single can of the Cheddar Whizzy. And when he gets his can from Max, he cannot help himself; he sprays a rope of orange gold into his gaping mouth.
Did I mention that he can create one hell of a smoke show using just a fire extinguisher? With a stomach full of liquid cheese and his boy Max moonwalking across the stage, Bobby howls in pure delight. Just another day in the life of Bobby Zimuruski.
Muhammad Ali standing triumphant over Sonny Liston. A Navy sailor kissing a stranger on V-J Day. A migrant mother holding her children during the Great Depression. These are among the most iconic photos in American history, but none of them quite measure up to the image of Bobby Zimuruski holding his greatest creation: The Leaning Tower of Cheeza.
Questions abound:
- How did he do it?
- Why did he do it?
- How many towers can a person make from one single can of C.W.?
- Do the dogs of the Goofyverse wear gloves or are those their paws?
- Is the Leaning Tower of Pisa a worthwhile tourist destination in Italy, or should I go to Milan instead?
- Should we let that stupid pointless tower fall? Wouldn’t that be badass to watch?
- Mild or sharp cheddar?
…and so on
It should surprise no one that Bobby wins the girl in the end. Max does, too, but he worked so freaking hard to do it. Drove across the country, betrayed his father, almost got himself killed, learned how to fly fish (dude, why). All Bobby had to do was be himself and let the ladies come to him. Yes, Stacey is wearing a racist costume. It’s not even Halloween. Why is she dressed like that? Anyway, I choose to believe that she’ll change and grow and learn the error of her ways under the tutelage of Bobby Z..
I’d be remiss not to mention that in the 2000 sequel to A Goofy Movie, An Extremely Goofy Movie, Bobby looks like this. Not good. We all make mistakes in college. For example, I took a sociology course my sophomore year. I know he’ll get his life back on track.
In conclusion, like another Bobby Z. that came before him (Robert Zimmerman, look it up), Bobby Zimuruski will go down in history for his clever wordplay, outlandish works of art, and love of processed cheese. His unbridled lust for life continues to inspire, even after 25+ years. Long live Bobby Zimuruski!