Friday Mailbag - 5/28/21
On Jimmy Buffett, The Simpsons, and working retail
Welcome to the Friday Mailbag. I apologize for my absence last Friday. Sometimes you gotta take a week off. Taking time off is underrated! Moving forward, I recommend treating yourself to days off work, days spent doing nothing…
PAT’S eBAY CORNER
If you’re anything like me, you spent your childhood summers floating around the pool, listening to Jimmy Buffett’s extensive catalog on cassette and compact disc.
And if you’re anything like me, you attended your fair share of Buffett concerts over the years, acquiring shirts here and there. These shirts have informed your style to an alarming degree.
Oh! And suppose you are like me. Lucky you, that means you regularly check eBay for vintage Buffett shirts. Cool, man. Good way to spend your time and money.
If you aren’t like me, worry not, you can always take a page from my playbook and cop a Buffett grail on the ‘bay. But remember: vintage shirts tend to run small. Either we’ve gotten fatter, or the shirts have shrunk. Or both. Don’t hesitate to size up.
My current size: L / My vintage size: XL-XXL. Bid hard.
Banana Wind (L) - $23
Boats, Beaches, Bars, & Ballads (XL) - $25
Carnival (XL) - $54
Cheeseburger in Paradise (S) - $19
Domino College (XL) - $30
Fruitcakes (L) - $37
Hot Water (XL) - $75
University of Margaritaville (M) - $150
AND NOW TO THE MAILBAG…
Loyal N.E.H. reader andcontributor, Diego, asks:
“What’s a movie or TV show you loved in your youth that hasn’t held up?”
I have an unusual relationship with The Simpsons. There was a brief window in time–probably when I was 12 or 13–that The Simpsons was my favorite show on earth. I watched it almost every night before dinner. FOX would air two episodes, and because this was 1998, the chances of seeing a classic were far greater.
The internet circa 2021 is basically a repository for Simpsons GIFs, screenshots, memes, and quotes. I “get” a lot of them, but they don’t tug on my heartstrings or trigger some nostalgic response or whatever. I haven’t watched an episode–old or new–in many years. Maybe I’m afraid of what I’ll discover: that The Simpsons isn’t for me anymore.
Maybe it all boils down to one personality quirk/flaw: I don’t like “adult” cartoons. I tried watching BoJack Horseman and could not hang. People are constantly recommending Adventure Time. No, thanks. And who would go out of their way to watch Bob’s Burgers? I’m puzzled by these people, but I don’t begrudge them their animated shows. I’m the one who’s damaged.
Sorry that this doesn’t really answer your question, but my more obvious answers–Independence Day, Are You Afraid of the Dark?, Full House–seem too easy. Of course those haven’t held up. By all metrics, The Simpsons is still an important, relevant, and above all else, funny television show. To me, however, it has not held up.
Loyal N.E.H. reader, Pat (no relation), asks:
“What have you enjoyed the most about your clothing retail jobs?”
First, the people. It’s cliche but true. I’ve met a lot of friends at work, and many of them have helped me become a better salesman.
I also enjoy seeing what people actually buy versus what I think they’ll buy. The garments that really move me–specifically, bold “statement” pieces–tend to gather dust, while staples like henleys and polos perform well. Men are so buttoned up. We gravitate toward what we know (in terms of dress, anyway). I think that’s changing to an extent, especially for younger men. And I welcome it! But in the end, the way to make commission is not by pushing $300 camp shirts that have been hand-dipped in indigo. Stuff like that has a specific audience, and if you’re a member of that audience, you already know it and don’t need to be sold. The average guy just wants to buy a flattering t-shirt, a pair of chinos, and a soft crewneck. Nothing wrong with that, really. In the words of Simon & Garfunkel, I’m “just trying to keep my customers satisfied.”
Got a question? Feel free to comment on this post or e-mail me at newexperimentalhours@gmail.com. Thanks!
Have a nice Memorial Day weekend, friends! See you soon!