The Norm Report - Volume 1
On Love Is Blind and Severance
Hello and welcome to a new N.E.H. series called The Norm Report. For many years, I’ve been living under a rock of my own creation, and that rock shields me from pop culture. That’s a good thing. Normal people have wack tastes. We all know this. But it can be funny and even illuminating to learn what my peers in America are up to. This is what The Norm Report is all about.
Today I will investigate two streaming juggernauts: Love is Blind and Severance.
Love Is Blind
Over the course of eight seasons spanning just five years, Love Is Blind has gone from compulsively watchable to actively irritating. I’m not sure why I keep tuning in, except that it feels nice to power down the ol’ brain on the weekend.
This season, set in Minneapolis, is notable for its lack of diversity. I’m not the first person to make this observation.1 2 Seriously, take a look at these specimens.
Dear lord. The producers seem to have invented contestants using AI/silly putty. What’s more distressing is the show’s conservative/religious agenda. Half of these buffoons regularly talk about god in a way that isn’t immediately dismissive. And don’t get me started on the dudes who proudly label themselves socially liberal, fiscally conservative.
The women of Love Is Blind, by and large, aren’t smart either, and so they decline to ridicule these bozos into oblivion. When I appear on the second Chicago installment of Love Is Blind, I intend to lead with my socialism and atheism. Only on date two will my future wife learn about my other quirks, such as: I love Golden Grahams. And then we’ll get engaged and she’ll learn that I’m handsome.
I’m sorry to make you do this, but N.E.H. is a fashion ‘stack and so you’ve got to take a look at these fellas’ legs. For whatever reason, the gents of Love Is Blind are almost always dressed like it’s 2015 and they’re getting ready for Sunday brunch. Bottomless Mimosacore. Slim stretchy pants, bad Chelsea boots, ankle socks. Gonna get my morning workout in at Orange Theory and chase it with tequila shots at Federales.
Fortunately, there is an alternative!
Severance
Chances are if you’re reading this, it’s because you’re a person of refined taste. And so I assume you’re already into Severance, Apple TV’s monster hit. I love this show. Man, I really do. Every Friday, I park my keister on the couch and take my emotional walloping with a grin.
I’m not the kind of viewer who demands that plot holes be closed or spends his time deciphering easter eggs on Reddit or whatever. I like entertainment to take me on a crazy ride, and Severance is doing just that.
Again, N.E.H. is a fashion ‘stack, so let’s consider some fashion.
Severance’s main character is Mark (Adam Scott), a severed employee at Lumon. Lumon is a classic Orwellian setting replete with surveillance and mind control and bad motives, etc.. Mark dresses accordingly. His suits are gray or navy and cut in a pretty standard way, i.e., not in any way that would distinguish him from the other drones. He looks pretty good! So do his colleagues Dylan and Irving. His fourth colleague, Helly R, is a smokeshow who walks a fine line between retro, futuristic, retro-futuristic, and corporate chic.
And please take note of the show’s snappiest dresser, Mr. Milchick, looking like a dang boss in the forests of [redacated]. To me, Tramell Tillman resembles Billy Ocean, one of the 80s sultriest stars. Caribbean Queen, now we’re sharing the same dream.
In conclusion, norms watch television and I do, too. Maybe I am a norm after all? Lots to ponder as I embark on Vol. 2 of the Norm Report. What normie pastime should I tackle next? Should I watch a hockey game? Do some online shopping at Gap.com? Adopt a puppy? Let me know in the comments! Have a great weekend!
Alternatives
Music: Sparagmos by Spectral Voice
Book: You Dreamed of Empires by Álvaro Enrigue
Movie: The Deer Hunter by Michael Cimino
https://www.glamour.com/story/love-is-blind-season-8-review
https://www.popsugar.com/health/love-is-blind-body-diversity-49429778
Help! I don’t “get” Severance and actually really hate it but keep watching. Also could be because I fall asleep every time I watch.